Conquest: Travelodge
The day was as black as the ace of spades. I reeled as a bit of rock slashed my left upper cheek bone. It drew blood. My loyal concubine dabbed at it with a cold compress. We had long since started on our quest to seek the Commodore Hotel to find refuge against the coming horde. Three days had passed, since we stepped foot out on to Fitzgerald street and made our way south, to get to our destination.
After two and a half days of walking down the same street and not finding the place we were looking for, we stopped in to BWS to ask for directions. I waited outside, as my courageous offsider asked the kind sir at BWS where the hell we were and where we could find the Commodore Hotel. We both knew that this would be a major setback, because we knew that the diabolic monstrosities would be surely on our tail. My ruby haired mistress emegred out of the bottle-o, and pointed us back the way which we had came. So on we walked. Sure enough, we decided to make a rash decision and turn a corner. The gargantuan sign labeled 'Commodore Chateau' leered overhead. It was here all the time, I thought to myself. The demons must have tricked us to slow us down! We found the entrance which had blazing white and red signs above it naming the hotel 'TRAVELODGE!!!'. Suspicious was I, as we leapt into the doorway. My concubine asked if they knew were the commodore was, and they were quick to reply...
'You're in it fuckstick!' My sweet sweet lady was quite shocked by the appaling mannerisms of the dirty great big oaf with a whacking stick, and was soon to quip back:
'Well then check us in you hairy nob!'
'Orite' He replied in strong cockney.
'Now, we are under the name Harry Houdini and Miss Trumpet'
'Orite, wew, va compuer dunt look like she up wiv va daisy's at va mowment, eres ya key, yer in room numba ait undred and wun, now fack orf!'
'Ta' Replied My Lady snatching the keycard out of the slimey cockneys hands. She then proceeded to bang her fist on the table repeatedly until it hurt. We walked to the elevators.
I kissed my darling tenderly as the elevator ascended. The sound of the ping rung my ears from side to side, as the doors slid open. I stepped out and froze, my beauty followed and i whispered harshly to her,
'Don't move...' She switched her head to her immediate right, only to lay eyes on what had made me frezze moment before. It was Noob Saibat, the dreaded shadow ninja from the forbidden zone.
He stood silently at the end of the corridor, his black shadowy clothing loking like a silouhette against the sun drenched window.
At the end of that corridor was our room. He waited there because he knew we needed to get there. There was nothing I could do, so I ran to him, screaming his name. I lunged at him, but he swiftly moved to my right and I fell into the ground.
I got up quickly not wanting to be an easy target, and I aimed double legged kick at his stomach, he didn't anticipate this, and the force of my legs threw him against the wall. I got up completely and elbowed him in the face. Blood squirted onto my dirty elbow. I then proceeded to take hold of his neck and slap him hard across the face. I then held his head and brought it down on my knee. A cracking sound echoed down the hallway, and my concubine took a run up from the other end of the corridor and king hit him the face. He started to pummel him rather violently, as i took hold of a giant boulder and lifted it above my head to bring it down on top of Noob Saibat. I flung it maddeningly. It connected with his head, merging it with the carpeted floor. Noob Saibat was no more. To make sure he was completely dead, I severed his achilles tendon with a blunt knife, and then put a ninja star in each of his wrists and cut his hands off. Should he decide to rise again, he would not be able to walk, or kick, or punch, or speak, or look, or listen, or read, or play a guitar. He was dead, even if he decided to come back to life.
We left the mutilated Noob Saibat infront of our Room door, where we neednt be bothered with him anymore. I walked into the badly lit room, and put my heavy backpack down. My red haired beauty followed. I sat down on the bed, with blood caked all over my elbows and knees. My woman sat on my lap and touched me on the cheek with a hand of so soft, and a kindness unknown to me. I couldn't help but think, that we probably wouldnt make it through this. She knew it also. Bu i knew that if I was destined to go down, I was destined to take as many of those slimey bastards with me as I could.
After two and a half days of walking down the same street and not finding the place we were looking for, we stopped in to BWS to ask for directions. I waited outside, as my courageous offsider asked the kind sir at BWS where the hell we were and where we could find the Commodore Hotel. We both knew that this would be a major setback, because we knew that the diabolic monstrosities would be surely on our tail. My ruby haired mistress emegred out of the bottle-o, and pointed us back the way which we had came. So on we walked. Sure enough, we decided to make a rash decision and turn a corner. The gargantuan sign labeled 'Commodore Chateau' leered overhead. It was here all the time, I thought to myself. The demons must have tricked us to slow us down! We found the entrance which had blazing white and red signs above it naming the hotel 'TRAVELODGE!!!'. Suspicious was I, as we leapt into the doorway. My concubine asked if they knew were the commodore was, and they were quick to reply...
'You're in it fuckstick!' My sweet sweet lady was quite shocked by the appaling mannerisms of the dirty great big oaf with a whacking stick, and was soon to quip back:
'Well then check us in you hairy nob!'
'Orite' He replied in strong cockney.
'Now, we are under the name Harry Houdini and Miss Trumpet'
'Orite, wew, va compuer dunt look like she up wiv va daisy's at va mowment, eres ya key, yer in room numba ait undred and wun, now fack orf!'
'Ta' Replied My Lady snatching the keycard out of the slimey cockneys hands. She then proceeded to bang her fist on the table repeatedly until it hurt. We walked to the elevators.
I kissed my darling tenderly as the elevator ascended. The sound of the ping rung my ears from side to side, as the doors slid open. I stepped out and froze, my beauty followed and i whispered harshly to her,
'Don't move...' She switched her head to her immediate right, only to lay eyes on what had made me frezze moment before. It was Noob Saibat, the dreaded shadow ninja from the forbidden zone.
He stood silently at the end of the corridor, his black shadowy clothing loking like a silouhette against the sun drenched window.
At the end of that corridor was our room. He waited there because he knew we needed to get there. There was nothing I could do, so I ran to him, screaming his name. I lunged at him, but he swiftly moved to my right and I fell into the ground.
I got up quickly not wanting to be an easy target, and I aimed double legged kick at his stomach, he didn't anticipate this, and the force of my legs threw him against the wall. I got up completely and elbowed him in the face. Blood squirted onto my dirty elbow. I then proceeded to take hold of his neck and slap him hard across the face. I then held his head and brought it down on my knee. A cracking sound echoed down the hallway, and my concubine took a run up from the other end of the corridor and king hit him the face. He started to pummel him rather violently, as i took hold of a giant boulder and lifted it above my head to bring it down on top of Noob Saibat. I flung it maddeningly. It connected with his head, merging it with the carpeted floor. Noob Saibat was no more. To make sure he was completely dead, I severed his achilles tendon with a blunt knife, and then put a ninja star in each of his wrists and cut his hands off. Should he decide to rise again, he would not be able to walk, or kick, or punch, or speak, or look, or listen, or read, or play a guitar. He was dead, even if he decided to come back to life.
We left the mutilated Noob Saibat infront of our Room door, where we neednt be bothered with him anymore. I walked into the badly lit room, and put my heavy backpack down. My red haired beauty followed. I sat down on the bed, with blood caked all over my elbows and knees. My woman sat on my lap and touched me on the cheek with a hand of so soft, and a kindness unknown to me. I couldn't help but think, that we probably wouldnt make it through this. She knew it also. Bu i knew that if I was destined to go down, I was destined to take as many of those slimey bastards with me as I could.
posted by Glassie @ 5:19 AM
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