The day was bleak, the sky was a dull grey. I was just casually walking down the strata, and i bumped into a very hot lady, with fabulous extremities. I planned on not saying anything at all, but she initiated a stopandchat before i took a step by her.
'Jesus christ you are one hot fuck,' She quipped
'I know,' i replied,
'I want your body next to mine, in my king size bed with silk sheets,' She once again chirped,
'Sorry, but i prefer cotton more than silk, silk gives me a nasty rash on my fisher,'
'Whats a fisher?'
'Well my dear lady, its the little flap of skin that extends form the rim of your anus.'
'We can change the sheets to cotton if you want, or we can do it on the floor,'
'I am sorry, but i am already in a superb relationship with someone i love,'
'I can kill her, lets go!'
'I'll not let you lay a hand on my red haired beauty,'
'The fuck you will,' She snapped
'I'll fucking kill you,' I snapped back
'Oi, just come to bed, i want you inside me,'
'The only thing you will have inside you is a sharp spear if you dont leave me alone,' she grabbed hold of my arm very tightly and i couldnt get loose.
'Come with me hot stuff,' she whispered and dragged me along.
'Come with you i will never! Let go of me!' She let go.
'Just come to my house, man i want to have dirty sex with you,'
'Never shall i feast upon a slimy vaginal opening of a beast so slitherous, and vile,' and she grabbed me again, 'I am a taken man, and to prove my loyalty i shall smite you!' I yelled.
I took her by the head and banged it into a brick wall three times. She still had hold of my arm, her ruby red nails dug into my tanned flesh. I put four fingers in her mouth and a thumb beneath her chin, and clenched my fist, and pulled down. Her jaw came down with a snapping sound. Her claws retracted out of my arm, and she fell with a thud. I walked on, bleeding from the arm. I continued my voyage to the Service Station, and popped in to grab myself a Magnum Ego, before troddling off back home to surprise my lovely girlfriend with a Tim Tam Cornetto!
I walked down my street towards home, and as i approached the white house which i live in, i found the door open with a trail of blood leading in. I bolted, icecream in hand. I as soon as i hit the floorboards i slipped on the reddish black blood that trailed its way in through the hall. My head turned right, to find a little white object on the floor. I picked it up, it was a tooth, and its was only then that i knew who had found its way to my house. Then I heard a scream. It was my girlfriend. Shit, i knew i had to help her, so i ran to the sunken part of the house where the kitchen dwells. There she was, the lady whom i had encountered not more than fifteen mintues ago on Fitzgerald St walking to the Servo. Her jaw hung low, and was slanted to the left slightly, my girlfriend had a butter knife in her arm, where the monster had tried to get her. Blood seeped out of the poor girls arm, as i retracted it, and threw it at the beast that approached us. It clocked her right in the eye, and she fell backward. But she got back up and lunged at my girlfriend, i pushed my lovely out the way onto a couch, and pushed the rotten beast forward onto the other couch. This time she didnt have a good chance at getting up, for i belted her with a roundhouse kick in the face; you could hear her neck give way.
I took my girlfriend and assured her that she was dead. To prove my point, I took a large stick and belted her on the back with it, not a flinch. I embraced my red haired beauty, and took her outside, and we watched the sun lower its fiery appearance give way to a full blooded bushfire moon. The reddish apperance left no surprises, we knew what was to come, but we were prepared...
