Like a Spongeon.

I Received a rather unusual email in my inbox last night, that made me laugh, cry and throw up all at the same time, joyous occasion for all i might add. it contained no hello, goodbye or any other sort of frivolity, only the following picture:

The subject title was called 'Aboriginal Spongebob - Caught in Kalgoorlie' (can i note that this might not even be an aboriginal, it could even be an indian, or nigerian, aboriginals aren't the only dark skinned folk around, hell he could be greeek for all we know). So naturally i had to post it. But being as curious as i am, i went to source some information about this chap. This is what i found:
This skater is about 20 levels of awesome. Whoever mocked this picture up, has a really vivid imagination. Who would have thought? I know skaters love skating on giant foam mats, but its impractical and absurd, so when the opportunity comes up like thus, tis a great way to show people what you really love. Then i found this:
Surfing on Spongebob. This is just pure genius, really. After all the searching. I simply could not find any information on this 'Aboriginal Spongebob' What race he is, what hes trying to acheive. Maybe its not just that big of an internet phenomenon yet. When the man in the foam comes out and says it was he who graced the world wide web with his bohemian presence, then i will post a follow up to this. Until then, i have one more to tide you over.

Hospitality 101

There comes a time in every man's life, that he will judge himself, and either choose damnation, or awesome person. I chose the middle ground, i am a damned awesome person. Now if you take into consideration, the way i have to treat people to understand what i am saying, then you only need look at the pictures and references below this article. The answer is painfully obvious. Now here is an exercise for you all to enjoy...
Go to the person nearest to you.
Ask them to go to the toilet with you.
When they say 'no' (9 times out of ten they will) donkey punch them. (if its family, just walk away, don't make things weird).

You can donkey punch them later on if you like, take them by surprise maybe. Either way, no victim (unless its family) will go away NOT getting punched like a donkey.

People ask me (no one has me asked yet but they would if prompted, if they did ask, it would look like the above picture, presumably in interview format, with James as backup)
'How can you write such utter garbage? what do you get out of this? why are you so stupid and violent all of the time? are you upset about something? what does your mum think about this? what kind of shit is this? why are you so absurd? you are filth!'

The last question was more of a statement than anything, but if you wrote it like this: 'You are filth?' with a question mark next to the last word, it automatically transmorphs it into a question, thus making it seem as if they are not sure if i am filth or not; which is up to them to decide. (general answer - no i am not filth)

With all the above and more, in mind, have a nice thursday night, and i shall be back to deliver more advice from beyond the realms, now that i am back from the Amazon.

Back Is It That I Am? YES!

Back is it that i am? Can it be, that after a three year trip to the sweltering trudge that is the Amazonian Jungle, that i can finally let you know, that i am alive and well? Other than being slightly jotled and disturbed by my experiences in the Amazon, encountering many an Aconda, and many a canibale, i am very much alive.
To this i say Yea! To which thou reply Nea! To which i say Hea? Lets get on with it shall we?